Submitted by The Frumious Bandersnatch
Haven't we all seen the movie where the unlikable sister-in-law or brother-in-law sits at the family table saying evil things and everyone loathes them? I've actually been at one of those events and I hope that my husband and I will never be the hated one. But what would it be like if your family doesn't like your significant other?
I was fortunate enough that the first time my brothers met my husband they got along famously. I had been so nervous to introduce my boyfriend after years of my brothers asking if I was dating anyone they could beat up. (Lovely weren't they?) I got lucky because my family likes him, but what would I have done if they didn't?
But, my sister has brought home some men that put my family on edge. In fact, I quit speaking to the last guy she dated because he said an unbelievably rude comment to me shortly after I had my first baby. (I was hormonal and sensitive and I will never forgive or forget his stupidity.) Sis claims that she doesn't need or care if our family approves of her boyfriend, but would she really marry someone that the family doesn't like? The last couple of guys just didn't seem to mesh with the way that our family interacts.
We all get along as a family, sure we yell, but we also have a lot of fun when we get together. Wouldn't you assume that what our family deems 'likable' traits would be the same things that my sister looks for in a guy? She was raised with us and has the same values and background as the rest of the family. So if he can't get along with us, wouldn't that be a clue that the long term compatibility with my sister probably isn't there?
I'm not saying if our family doesn't love him immediately or worship the ground he walks on that she should dump whomever she's dating. But shouldn't she at least value our opinions a little?
I'm just sayin' . . .
Showing posts with label Frumious Bandersnatch. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Frumious Bandersnatch. Show all posts
Friday, October 16, 2009
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are dead . . . pass it on.
Submitted by The Frumious Bandersnatch.
I'm feeling extra frumious today.
My cell phone rings at the office at 8 am sharp Friday morning.
It's my mom calling to say, "Hi, your great- uncle died last night."
First off he was not just a great uncle - he was my grandfather's twin brother. Which me being a twin myself, I've always had a special place in my heart for him.
Now lets put the sadness aside for a second for the reason for my post.
I tearfully asked my mother why she felt that 8 am at the office was a good place to tell me this. And her reply?
"This is a good thing. He had so many health problems and now he can be with his wife in heaven and not living in pain. There's no need to be sad."
I asked why she didn't wait to tell me later in the day. And her reply?
"I wanted you to have all day to deal with this and not hear about it in the evening."
My thoughts are she could have told me at lunch so I could cry while I eat - always a great thing to try to juggle tissues and food, or until the work day was almost over, then I could sit in the car until I got a hold of myself and drove to get my kids from daycare. I understand that her first thought was to spare me having to deal with this in front of the kids, or heaven forbid I drive while upset.
But seriously, 8 am on Friday?
It seems a rather rude question, but how do you pass along bad news? Is there a better time of day? A better method? There has got to be a better way to share sad information.
I'm feeling extra frumious today.
My cell phone rings at the office at 8 am sharp Friday morning.
It's my mom calling to say, "Hi, your great- uncle died last night."
First off he was not just a great uncle - he was my grandfather's twin brother. Which me being a twin myself, I've always had a special place in my heart for him.
Now lets put the sadness aside for a second for the reason for my post.
I tearfully asked my mother why she felt that 8 am at the office was a good place to tell me this. And her reply?
"This is a good thing. He had so many health problems and now he can be with his wife in heaven and not living in pain. There's no need to be sad."
I asked why she didn't wait to tell me later in the day. And her reply?
"I wanted you to have all day to deal with this and not hear about it in the evening."
My thoughts are she could have told me at lunch so I could cry while I eat - always a great thing to try to juggle tissues and food, or until the work day was almost over, then I could sit in the car until I got a hold of myself and drove to get my kids from daycare. I understand that her first thought was to spare me having to deal with this in front of the kids, or heaven forbid I drive while upset.
But seriously, 8 am on Friday?
It seems a rather rude question, but how do you pass along bad news? Is there a better time of day? A better method? There has got to be a better way to share sad information.
Monday, September 21, 2009
How Do You Open A Present?
submitted by The Frumious Bandersnatch
How should present opening be done? I think that there a two ways to do it.
The Sedate Method - The lone celebrant (B-Days etc) opens their gifts one by one making sure to let any witnesses 'oo' and 'ah' over it. For holidays you can go around the circle and everyone can open one at a time.
OR
The Chaos Method - Everyone rips and shreds open packages at random and them as you bask in the glow of all of your treasure, you try to remember who gave you what.
I prefer Chaos while my MIL goes for Sedate which isn't a big deal except for the extra rules that she has for present openings.
For your amusement - here are the rules and how my family is attempting to invite chaos to the party.
Rule #1- Scissors must me used the score the tape so that wrapping paper can be re-used. All tissue paper must be saved. She actually gasped out loud during my bridal shower when I literally ripped open a present.
In response, I refuse to use anything other than gift bags for all of our presents these days which she then feels obligate to reuse, omitting the need for wrapping paper.
Rule #2- There is an order for all the presents to be opened and only my MIL knows it so we must wait to be given a present and then wait for permission to open it. During the holidays it could go like this - I open one, then she does, then my FIL, then me again, then my husband and FIL at the same time . . .you get the idea.
For this I adore the fact that we now have a toddler. Our lovely child refuses to accept this rule and is determined to open whatever package is the shiniest, see what's inside, then toss aside the box and move on.
Rule #3- Pause after opening each gift so that MIL can explain why she felt you had to have this gift, how hard it was to find the right one, and how she imagines you can use it to save the world. Most of these stories are written down on a keepsake card in iambic pentameter and attached to the gift for us to keep forever and ever.
Again, toddler to the rescue! There is nothing quite as amusing to me as watching my MIL try to pull our toddler onto her lap to tell her a story, or read her a poem while the big shiny presents under the tree are calling out like sirens to sailors.
So the next time you go to open a present, I ask this of you.
Please think of my plight, give a little giggle, then shred the wrapping paper to the imaginary gasps of my MIL.
The Frumious Bandersnatch.
P.S. ALL of this is literally true. There have been no exaggerations.
How should present opening be done? I think that there a two ways to do it.
The Sedate Method - The lone celebrant (B-Days etc) opens their gifts one by one making sure to let any witnesses 'oo' and 'ah' over it. For holidays you can go around the circle and everyone can open one at a time.
OR
The Chaos Method - Everyone rips and shreds open packages at random and them as you bask in the glow of all of your treasure, you try to remember who gave you what.
I prefer Chaos while my MIL goes for Sedate which isn't a big deal except for the extra rules that she has for present openings.
For your amusement - here are the rules and how my family is attempting to invite chaos to the party.
Rule #1- Scissors must me used the score the tape so that wrapping paper can be re-used. All tissue paper must be saved. She actually gasped out loud during my bridal shower when I literally ripped open a present.
In response, I refuse to use anything other than gift bags for all of our presents these days which she then feels obligate to reuse, omitting the need for wrapping paper.
Rule #2- There is an order for all the presents to be opened and only my MIL knows it so we must wait to be given a present and then wait for permission to open it. During the holidays it could go like this - I open one, then she does, then my FIL, then me again, then my husband and FIL at the same time . . .you get the idea.
For this I adore the fact that we now have a toddler. Our lovely child refuses to accept this rule and is determined to open whatever package is the shiniest, see what's inside, then toss aside the box and move on.
Rule #3- Pause after opening each gift so that MIL can explain why she felt you had to have this gift, how hard it was to find the right one, and how she imagines you can use it to save the world. Most of these stories are written down on a keepsake card in iambic pentameter and attached to the gift for us to keep forever and ever.
Again, toddler to the rescue! There is nothing quite as amusing to me as watching my MIL try to pull our toddler onto her lap to tell her a story, or read her a poem while the big shiny presents under the tree are calling out like sirens to sailors.
So the next time you go to open a present, I ask this of you.
Please think of my plight, give a little giggle, then shred the wrapping paper to the imaginary gasps of my MIL.
The Frumious Bandersnatch.
P.S. ALL of this is literally true. There have been no exaggerations.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Toilet Etiquette
submitted by
The Frumious Bandersnatch
Why upon getting engaged did the communication "DO NOT CROSS" line disappear for my mother-in-law? Shortly after my husband popped the question, my MIL thought it would be a good time to regale me with her digestive woes, while in the stalls, with other people in the public bathroom.
Is there a place on the internet that talks about toilet etiquette that I can reference? Here seems as good a place as any to start one.
"The rules as related to public bathrooms."
Rule #1: NO talking through doors. Not even if you think you are your friend are the only two people in the bathroom. Exceptions should be made for parents with small children, but try to keep the questions to "Are you done yet?" "Do you need some help?" or "Unlock this door!"
Rule #2: Don't you dare take an active electronic item into the bathroom. No computers and for heaven's sake DO NOT ANSWER YOUR PHONE! My sister related a story of someone doing a job interview in the stall next to her at her office. (And yes the interview was for a different company.)
Rule #3: Make sure your toilet flushes. If it doesn't flush, notify someone. (Don't be embarrassed! You can ask them if they were aware a toilet doesn't flush, you don't have to confess to being the person who used it!)
Sub-Rule #3.1 - If icky toilet water splashed on the seat after you flush, be responsible and wipe it off, that's what the trash can in the stall is there for.
Rule #4: If the stall is out of toilet paper, you are morally obligated to tell the next person looking for a stall so that they don't go through the same experience.
Rule #5: Make sure your paper towel ends up in the trash can.
Rule #6: Do not prop open the door. Yes, you may think it is more hygienic to not have to touch the door handle after you have washed your hands, but there may be someone else in the bathroom who would prefer to not have the entire area outside hear what's going on.
Sub-Rule #6.1 - Do not have conversations with the door to the bathroom propped open.
Rule #7: If you decide to make a lagoon out of the sink area while washing your hands, please be nice and wipe it up once you are done. Lesson learned, be neater next time.
The Frumious Bandersnatch
Why upon getting engaged did the communication "DO NOT CROSS" line disappear for my mother-in-law? Shortly after my husband popped the question, my MIL thought it would be a good time to regale me with her digestive woes, while in the stalls, with other people in the public bathroom.
Is there a place on the internet that talks about toilet etiquette that I can reference? Here seems as good a place as any to start one.
"The rules as related to public bathrooms."
Rule #1: NO talking through doors. Not even if you think you are your friend are the only two people in the bathroom. Exceptions should be made for parents with small children, but try to keep the questions to "Are you done yet?" "Do you need some help?" or "Unlock this door!"
Rule #2: Don't you dare take an active electronic item into the bathroom. No computers and for heaven's sake DO NOT ANSWER YOUR PHONE! My sister related a story of someone doing a job interview in the stall next to her at her office. (And yes the interview was for a different company.)
Rule #3: Make sure your toilet flushes. If it doesn't flush, notify someone. (Don't be embarrassed! You can ask them if they were aware a toilet doesn't flush, you don't have to confess to being the person who used it!)
Sub-Rule #3.1 - If icky toilet water splashed on the seat after you flush, be responsible and wipe it off, that's what the trash can in the stall is there for.
Rule #4: If the stall is out of toilet paper, you are morally obligated to tell the next person looking for a stall so that they don't go through the same experience.
Rule #5: Make sure your paper towel ends up in the trash can.
Rule #6: Do not prop open the door. Yes, you may think it is more hygienic to not have to touch the door handle after you have washed your hands, but there may be someone else in the bathroom who would prefer to not have the entire area outside hear what's going on.
Sub-Rule #6.1 - Do not have conversations with the door to the bathroom propped open.
Rule #7: If you decide to make a lagoon out of the sink area while washing your hands, please be nice and wipe it up once you are done. Lesson learned, be neater next time.
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