submitted by Finch.
So, my sister is a follower of my blog but I am dying to vent about her ridiculous parenting skills.
She tells me last weekend that she bought some obnoxious Tshirts for her teenagers (15 and 17) that say something like "save the boobies" or "I love boobies" with a sort of pink, breast cancer emblem-trying to mimic it or something. I am not entirely sure what they look like but I could not even fake interest in it with her on the phone when she was telling me about it. There is SO much wrong with that.
Honestly, I struggle with her "style" of parenting in general. And this is no surprise because we have been total opposites since the day we were born 18 months apart. I have learned to love her despite our lifelong differences, but when it comes to our kids, it is more difficult. My two little boys just adore her boys-maybe a little too much. Last weekend, the youngest of her 3, Luke, spent the weekend with us. He is now cultivating this "boarder dude" look and wearing totally inappropriate death rock concert Tshirts. He is a sweet kid, but this street thug look he has with the long hair, clown shoes and dirty looking jeans just doesn' fly. And my 6 year old, Michael, wants to look just like him. I realize that most 12 year old boys go through stuff like this but I am not ready for it with my 7 year old.
I also notice that none of the three of her kids do very well in school. I am starting to think my 7 year old can read and write about as well as any of her boys- @12, 15, and 17. I do't' blame them-she was the world's worst student, and it seems nothing has changed in her role as a parent of students. You would think her lack of discipline and compliance as a teenager having really hurt her later in life would serve as an example of how NOT to raise your kids, but instead, she goes to heavy metal concerts with them and hangs out in mosh pits. She bought the two older ones condoms, and she has no idea what is going on with them and their schoolwork. It's so irritating.
All this adds up to some serious friction between Michael, my husband and me. Michael does not understand why it is undesirable to have Luke's life. He thinks he should get to go to public school were there is no dress code and ride a bus and not have to play sports. I know someday Michael will realize that he was in fact the lucky one-having gone to private schools and gotten to play sports all the time. My sisters's kids would tell you that they would trade in a minute.
My husband and I talk about limiting the amount of time our kids get to spend with hers but I feel guilty about it. I grew up with zero family, and we always felt so alienated around cousins and aunts and uncles. I know my kids will eventually get exposed to people who have it better and worse than they do. Not to mention, I don't know how to explain it to my kids or my nephews. Any suggestions?
So, my sister is a follower of my blog but I am dying to vent about her ridiculous parenting skills.
She tells me last weekend that she bought some obnoxious Tshirts for her teenagers (15 and 17) that say something like "save the boobies" or "I love boobies" with a sort of pink, breast cancer emblem-trying to mimic it or something. I am not entirely sure what they look like but I could not even fake interest in it with her on the phone when she was telling me about it. There is SO much wrong with that.
Honestly, I struggle with her "style" of parenting in general. And this is no surprise because we have been total opposites since the day we were born 18 months apart. I have learned to love her despite our lifelong differences, but when it comes to our kids, it is more difficult. My two little boys just adore her boys-maybe a little too much. Last weekend, the youngest of her 3, Luke, spent the weekend with us. He is now cultivating this "boarder dude" look and wearing totally inappropriate death rock concert Tshirts. He is a sweet kid, but this street thug look he has with the long hair, clown shoes and dirty looking jeans just doesn' fly. And my 6 year old, Michael, wants to look just like him. I realize that most 12 year old boys go through stuff like this but I am not ready for it with my 7 year old.
I also notice that none of the three of her kids do very well in school. I am starting to think my 7 year old can read and write about as well as any of her boys- @12, 15, and 17. I do't' blame them-she was the world's worst student, and it seems nothing has changed in her role as a parent of students. You would think her lack of discipline and compliance as a teenager having really hurt her later in life would serve as an example of how NOT to raise your kids, but instead, she goes to heavy metal concerts with them and hangs out in mosh pits. She bought the two older ones condoms, and she has no idea what is going on with them and their schoolwork. It's so irritating.
All this adds up to some serious friction between Michael, my husband and me. Michael does not understand why it is undesirable to have Luke's life. He thinks he should get to go to public school were there is no dress code and ride a bus and not have to play sports. I know someday Michael will realize that he was in fact the lucky one-having gone to private schools and gotten to play sports all the time. My sisters's kids would tell you that they would trade in a minute.
My husband and I talk about limiting the amount of time our kids get to spend with hers but I feel guilty about it. I grew up with zero family, and we always felt so alienated around cousins and aunts and uncles. I know my kids will eventually get exposed to people who have it better and worse than they do. Not to mention, I don't know how to explain it to my kids or my nephews. Any suggestions?
Wow...at first I thought her two older children with the boobie shirts were girls, and I thought it was cute. TOTALLY inappropriate for boys, tho'!
ReplyDeleteFamily is ... well, family. You don't get to choose them, unfortunately! Limiting time spent with them could just make them cooler. It's hard but when they argue that so-and-so can so why can't they, you can always come back with any one of a few great parent sayings, such as: "Because I said so, that's why!"; "Because I am not their parent" or even "If so-and-so jumped off a bridge, would you want to do that too?"
ReplyDeleteOk, I never said they were LOGICAL ...
I always say,"Different families have different rules." Not always well-received but they get it.
ReplyDeleteHold it! Seriously? Two teenage boys wearing boobie tshirts?
ReplyDeleteIt sounds to me like your sis is trying to be the parent/best friend combo and is afraid her kids won't like her. I remember those parents. Those moms also got called the B word by their daughters in public.
I'm all for the different families have different rules. That's what my mom always said.
i do agree that your sister may need to be more of a disciplinarian than a "cool" mom but i also think that by your description, you definitely look down upon her. you make yourself out to be better than her(at least a better parent) but like you said, Luke is a sweet kid. if he is a sweet kid than she is obviously doing something right. i agree, maybe the t-shirts and the way they dress are a little too over the top but then we are also judging a book by it's cover. i would hope you would embrace people's differences instead of trying to make everyone conform to what your idea of normal is. limiting the time your kids spend with their cousins would probably only alienate them from each other. maybe your sister's kids need more time with you? maybe your ideas of "normal" would rub off on them a little? another thing, your sis was a bad student? maybe she had a learning disability? maybe her kids do too. you cant judge someone based on a letter on their report card. to me, this sounds more like a sibling rivalry and i think if you had legitimate concerns about your sister and her parenting skills, you should really address them to her.
ReplyDelete